Sola

Every time I see my guy and then one of us gets jetted thousands of miles away, it's sort of like going through a break-up.  It doesn't bring the same sense of permanent loss, but there is a mourning process, and I have a hard time adjusting back to being alone most of the time.  It involves a lot of snacking and pajamas and not much bathing.  In my current woman-of-the-wilderness state, I find myself with a lot of time to think.  And I've been thinking a lot about relationships and connectedness, because I feel lonely and disconnected.  I try to tell myself that this time alone is good for me, that I can do all kinds of things I like or have been meaning to do: pursue something creative, read, write, listen to music, do yoga, go for morning walks, cook, watch a movie, update my resume, do some travel planning for next year, post some pics from this year's travels on facebook.  But right now, I just don't feel motivated.  I find myself feeling kind of pathetic for wishing I had someone nearby to hang out with instead of hanging out by myself.  My work is mostly solitary, so after work I feel like having dinner or just sitting on my couch with someone else, watching a show and chatting intermittently.  I know I'm ready to end this phase of living alone, but unfortunately I don't see an end in sight anytime soon.