How we view everything

Americans are control freaks. This sentence has been popping up in my head over the past few weeks as I've been thinking about what things will be like when I stay in India for a few months. Spending small amounts of time in a lot of different places in the past year has kept me thinking about how the places where we live, the culture and the population density and even the weather, shape how we view everything.

For instance, America is freakishly efficiently run compared to India and has a lot of conveniences freely available. One of the consequences of this is that many Americans get really irritated by things like not having free unlimited wifi with the purchase of a cup of coffee. In some ways, I think Americans are not sufficiently grateful for all that we do have; but then, some of the reason why we have so many good systems is that we have high expectations. On the other hand, the sense I've gotten in India is that no matter how you'd like the system to work, you often can't do anything about it -- so I've found the Indians I know to be far more adaptable to external circumstances (which can be good and bad in turn) where Americans would likely try to bend circumstances to our will (which also has pros and cons). Americans try to control things because where we live makes us more likely to believe that we're actually able to (which is sometimes a dangerous belief).

Something that works hand in hand with this is that the American dream is all about the pursuit of individual goals. There is a sense that it's our birthright to acquire and achieve. India is not wired so individually - social status is not as malleable, and families are much more involved in things that Americans would consider very personal, individual decisions (like who to marry). People in India also live in closer proximity to one another in general than Americans do (at least in Mumbai, which is a huge city crammed full of people). It's something I've felt a lot recently -- the American isolation. Our connections are fewer and thinner than the ones I've seen in India, and we are less likely to get involved in other people's problems or personal lives, even those of our close friends and family. I have more freedom to be myself and do what I want here in the US, but that means I also end up spending more time by myself. In India, my existence and needs just feel like less of an inconvenience to other people because everyone I've met there is used to having a lot of other people around and being active participants in each other's lives. There's less personal space, but there also seems to be less loneliness (though for an expat, I have a feeling that at times I'll feel lonely even in a crowd).

I suppose that's all for now...perhaps to be continued another time. Maybe when I'm actually back in India. :)