Inner Self Defense

I'm experiencing a moment of truly happy inner peace. I'm currently rereading the book Eat, Pray, Love, in eager anticipation of the release of the movie version of this fantastic memoir. I first read the book two and a half years ago. I loved the book the first time through, and now I am relishing it even more because of the upcoming movie and also because it resonates with me during this season of my life. The author, Liz, made the difficult decision to divorce her husband when she was around 30 and realized that the life she had been helping to build with him was not what she wanted and was making her miserable. After the divorce was final, she decided to spend a year traveling, first in Italy, then in India, then in Indonesia (Bali), and the book is a recounting of her personal journey (physical, emotional, and spiritual) through those places.

The thing that has struck me as I've read tonight (and I've read almost the entire India section), is the way that she struggled to be patient with herself. I relate a lot to her feelings of inadequacy and failure, as well as to her fear that she will never overcome some of her problems, that her knowledge will always be too limited and her will too difficult to tame. And what's been going through my head is something that she realized along the way that I've also come to realize recently -- that we have to love ourselves enough to be patient with our own learning and growing process. At times, we may have to defend ourselves fiercely against our own discouragement and self-criticism in order to give ourselves the space and the grace we need to seek some inner peace and happiness. We need encouragement and guidance from others, but we also need to be able to listen to ourselves and have some trust and respect for the wise inner voice that can emerge. Reading about another person's journey to heal and to get closer to God and herself is really affirming, and it makes me feel a sort of unity and contentment with everything around me. I can't help feeling like everything (in the world, in my life) is working out for the best, even in spite of the trials we each face and our own imperfections.