Passion

It's a bit difficult to get started on a new blog entry when it's been so long since my last one and there's been more than ever processing through my mind, so much that I'm grappling with. How to pick something to talk about?

For now, I'm not going to get too detailed, but one of the things I'm learning right now is the importance of passion. I've made almost all of my decisions up to now based on a rational assessment of what I should do -- what's most practical, most reasonable, does the most to help others, does the most to please others. And in the process, I've suppressed the part of me that lights up when I see something that captivates me. I think everyone must have at least one thing that does this to them -- for me, it's books, music, art. Words and patterns. Creative articulation. I don't think I'm ever much happier than when I'm a room with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. I feel calm and centered, but also invigorated.

I think I've underestimated the need for passion to drive me, and I doubt I'm the only person who's done this. It's tempting to keep what I have now, what I'm sure of, rather than to try for something better and more beautiful and risk losing what I have. Especially if all the voices, including the one in my own head, exhort me to exercise caution.

It's also hard to change when you don't like what you have, but you also don't hate it, and there is nothing really forcing you to make a move. Inertia is incredibly powerful. But that means that a first step, an initial push, can also continue to produce motion.

What does it take to be happy? I'm trying to learn more of the answer to this question. I think it starts with self awareness, recognizing what it is I love most and realizing what that means about who I am. It also includes choosing continually to do what makes me happy, both in the current moment I'm living and in whatever situation the future may bring. And I think it is also something that is fed by witnessing the passion and happiness of other people, wherever they might find it.