Unorthodoxize

I've been going through another bout of "What am I doing with my life?" lately, which is largely spurred by the book that I'm reading. It's called Take this Bread, and it's the memoir of a woman who inexplicably wanders into a church after somewhere around 35 years of being perfectly content with not being religious, takes communion, and evolves into a Christian over the following months. For her, this doesn't mean adopting a creed and starting to behave nicely, but really digging into the action that seems imperative as a result of her faith -- feeding people. It's a pretty incredibly different perspective from my own since I grew up going to church, and behaving nicely was the first cardinal rule I was taught. Sometimes I think I need a good dose of misbehavior to break me from some of my less savory orthodox inclinations and assumptions. It's been largely the social requirements of being part of a "church" (at least as I perceive them) that have kept me shying away from even attempting to attend services for the past four years. But with or without a disciplined regimen, I think I need a change of some sort, a spiritual renewal that isn't just a nice front, which will affect my life in a pretty major way. I've thought that for years now, and to be honest, I'm not sure that I won't just continue to think it for another couple of years before I am resolved to do something about it. I don't think it's going to leave me alone until I act, though, which must be a good thing.